Thursday 10 November 2011

Happy Bday,Wegdan



“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer”

To you, my friend, my words speak out.




Down through the days, and across the lonely nights
You were my voice, my rejuvenating light
My didactic soul, which would set things just right
A generous wallet when money gets tight.

The ominous years, oh they seemed so endless
Strolling down the campus, SO very crimeless
Taking up a habit, with much deftness
Laughing our heads off, free and guiltless.

On the top of the train,we jumped, jubilantly
“I wanna drive this train!” you shouted, choicely
Alas my friend, our train has taken off, brusquely
You’re leading it, and I’m following, breathlessly.

My buddy, our lives have been tangled up,
With time trashing us into the zone of grownup
With ever so little buildup, few muckup and lots of crackup
Let’s just ace the times, with sincere faiths that we holdup.

Let's enlighten souls, let them shimmer with light
Let's break more rules, and maybe repent at night
Let's let the Ummah rule,oh let’s spread the insight
For ,my friend its all worthy, at the end of the flight
We’ll look back, proud of our foresight
We’ll nod in contentment at all the fights
We’ll meet our Lord, in an outfit of a bummed-out knight
Prostrate to him, whispering in delight:
“Oh thank you Allah,for guiding us through such a world, so finite.”

Have a very blessed Bday,Byear,and Blife.
We get to live it just once,let's just BLUNDER bigtime,make up,and eventually live it right.

Monday 7 November 2011

Be Grateful.







Assalamualikm Wa Rahmato Allah Wa Barakatoh =D






My dear tagged/untagged/stalking/fady-awi-gedan reader,May Allah's blessings be upon you all..Happy Eid and here I'm back again to Facebook after a heartbreaking leave (was having twitter-addiction troubles, and eventually gat branded as a first class internet addict).






The reason I'm writing this,3ala balata, is to pass on this teeny weeny advice to all my lovelies on Facebook. Now since life isn't that sweet and cheerful, people don't do what they do outta mere good will. They do it for a good objective reason. My reason for writing this is :to gain good deeds off your nuchae (for those of you who suck at anatomy,nuchae is non but your 'afaa'=the back of your neck. In other highly scientific words, "A5od hasanat 3la afaqom" just like what @Heba Sabry, my good ole friend would blurt out frankly.)






Be Grateful.


A seemingly highly-interesting eye-catching topic that you have most probably stumbled upon no less than seventeen hundred times in the past memorable years of your life.


I'm not here to preach or to ask you to count your blessings. I’m here to remind myself and you too of what we, as highly involved and life-engrossed medical and non-medical students have long been oblivious to.










#1 Ever woke up one sunny day and took a look at the mirror to admire your beautiful face, only to shockingly realize that you have grown a cheerful rosy pimple overnight? Yeah I can see you grimacing at the screen. It has happened to all of us yo! You’d dress up and go to college, avoiding every other creature as if you’ve caught a cootie “an overnight-grown new nose”


Well you’d better hit Dept#8 at our cozy Kasr Al Aini hospital. It’s the Burns dept, and well people there have developed burns averaging from second to sixth degree burns, those luckiest develop BOILS all over the body…they have no mirrors in that dept by the way..It’s enough with the physical pain, they needn’t a reminder of how ugly they’ve turned. Most of those patients were saved outta burning buildings..most of them actually are CHILDREN! Yeah..they’d live the rest of their lives bearing gruesome scars, most prolly being hated by their own family, and repelled by their peers. So while your pink zit takes the time to fade away, you’d better take longer to thank Allah for saving you the pain, the disfigurement and the repelling attitude.










#2 Ever came across Fb,and realized in despair that you can’t find Alaa Hijazi? Well,you’d better be grateful now that I’m here AND addressing you kman,a5er 7alawa ya3ni!










#3 Been told off by your parents? I mean ever been actually thanked by them? :D yeah it happens like once every millennium that parents remember how blessed they are to have such a smart beautiful social friendly helpful dexterous kind smart (did I just mention that before?) kid like myself. But I mean really ever been told off BADLY by one of your parents? Or yet better ,both of them? Yeah that’s one hell of a blessing in disguise! To actually have someone who cares enough to burn up their stores of glycogen, get their neurons firing like mad, and address your majesty for your wrongdoing is a real blessing. After the fuming–up phase you’ll realize that was it not for these peeps, you’d have prolly strayed faaaar away from where you’re right now, gat yourself mixed up with some shits, and ended up locked up somewhere.










#4 Stumbled upon yourself at exam time? Well,no need to comprehend further. Guess you can leap back in memory to the most astounding third year microbiology exam, and get your hands aching in praying these times won’t have to pass again (for a while),simply cause you’re done with third year and most importantly cause your finals are still some peachy eight or ten months ahead. that’s a a very good blessing by the way.










#5 Ever been mislead into an act,and then got slammed back to reality RIGHT before screwing up big time? Like for instance, you make friends with this girl(m3aya :D),and right before she convinces you of stealing off our parents, you realize you’re way off the right track, and quit doing the act right away? Well you’d better be grateful! Millions of teenagers all around the world get driven by peer-pressure into smoking crack and having illegal sex. They end up as dead/addicts/murderers/medstudents. So everytime you remember that you’ve been snatched right at the zero hour…prostrate in gratitude.










#6 Done/Still doing a wrong act? Something that you know is haram or that won’t summon Allah’s pleasure..yet you still keep doing it over and over again? Heba Sabry would say “Afaya werem mel shetan”,note that every nuchae-related and relatable quote springs from Sabry. And yes Heba I hear you on this! Personally I have been into innumberable pits,in and out ,in and out..I’ve actually started to give up on me…why push so hard against temptations? Why not get deluded into the sweet-talking of Satan? Why stay up praying qiyyyam/Do some house chores/Help out your dad/Do the laundry/Go food-shopping? Why not go all easy and ‘maleable’ with the Y-chromosome bearers/otherwise commonly known as males? Why put up boundaries and not pass redlines. WHY get tamed by righteousness? Well the answer my friend is NOT blowing in the wind…It’s been here all the time, stark and clear..Yet our wrongheadedness and shortsightedness have very smartly blocked us off the apparent reason. You see my friend, We’re a bunch of humans who were destined to co-exist together on a small galaxy. Was it not for rules and regulations that tame us down, we’d have run wild..People raping your sisters, stealing your stuff and doing god-knows-what else. Maybe that’s a bit too malicious. I mean my not putting up with dad’s demeanor while ordering me to do something won’t obviously hurt no one. Well believe it or not it DOES hurt someone ,maybe your dad a little but it mainly affects YOU the most. Call it karma,call it jaza2 or whatever.But we, as adults are accountable for every bit of act we do. It all pays back in the end. Allah is NEVER forgetful. And He’s all rewarding..Don’t ever dare to forget that. We need God-forbidden things in life. They make us better...they make us humane.










#7 Got your younger sister ‘borrowing’ your most admirable pair of lime green sneakers, and ‘accidently’ greasing them while bicycling? The grease is all there shiny black and sticking its slime tongue at you in euphoria, and even if you rip your Converse apart, it will persist indefinitely…well you’d better be thankful you actually happen to have a SIBLING! A pain in the ass they stand, true..But still you’d better be thankful for their existence. These people are actually capable of loving you, caring for you and most importantly ‘lending’ you their most valuable things. Now whether this lending process happens in their presence or absence it doesn’t really matter…it’s just the fact that siblings, along with sibling-possessions co-exist peacefully in the room next to you. Its a such a zesty relief.










#8 Ever been so amazingly lucky to be actually SANE and ABLE to read these few lines of mine? Many out there have the bad luck of retinal detachment, or corneal ulcers, or yet worse, not having me on their friends list. Now you’d better be thankful that I give a care, and that I share what affects my life most, so you’d learn off my bruised, contused, lacerated nuchae. :D










The list is infinite. You add in whatever is counted as a blessing in your life. Write it down. Read it in the morning .And at night remember to stay up a lil longer, reflecting over these bounties and thanking Him.














“Be thankful, for whatever you grump about there’s someone out there, somewhere, dreaming of living a split of a second of your life.”


~Alaa Hijazi





"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"


~William A. Ward"

Thursday 13 October 2011

Pivot Point


Riveted as anyone can get to the absurdities of life, I lived through a couple of months in extreme selfishness and uncaring. Uncaring was the daily theme. Life is a bitch,and then you die full stop.Turned out that I was wrong.


Major turning points line up and make our life plotline.Syllables of emotions,incidents,failures,and successes dash down the story of our life. Funny how we stand useless watching these flickers of insanity mess around with our existence.Sad how we rarely endeavor to do anything about it.


I fell into a considerable some of pits throughout my life. Some of which were so ominous that I later felt incredulous as to how oblivious I was,stepping right into them without a pinch of mentality.Some,on the other hand were so finely polished that it felt as if you're heading down an alleyway in the seventh heaven.These were the most deceiving of all...pits which felt so right to fall into,so cozy to sleep within,and so dangerous to get out of. So far I have fallen into just one,and was it not for Allah's mercy,the fall woulda been a lethal one.


This was the pit of thinking that life has given up on me already.That no matter how hard I tried,I'll still trip over tons of bumps in life that my body shall be too severed to carry on.So why not save up the pain and effort and QUIT already?Why head down unknown aisles?Why live up a dream and burn the candle at both ends to see it step into reality?Why not lay back and shake it off and laugh it up?The answer,simple as it was,was not something I thought had existed..up until the pivot point of my life.


Today was more of a day that you'd expect to have come outta the 'lived happily ever after' chapter of Cinderella.Happiness was the dominating theme.Pride mingled with euphoria tranquilly flooded my soul as I received this Certificate of Honor for Academic Excellence.It was more of a nice stroke,from Allah, to lead me back to righteousness.I felt that all of a sudden I'm being snatched from a a freefall,and taken into a safe haven...into a cave so intricately embroidered with passionate emotions,and so nicely blessed with serene quranic verses..


This is a reminder for myself,and for anyone reading my humble words: no matter how far we stray ,Allah always finds the way to bring us back..we should opt for listening more closely to that sound of our hearts,and glimpsing more clearly that light of His path.



4:26
4:27
4:28


"Allah wants to make clear to you [the lawful from the unlawful] and guide you to the [good] practices of those before you and to accept your repentance. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.
Allah wants to accept your repentance, but those who follow [their] passions want you to digress [into] a great deviation.
And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak."

An-Nisa



Thursday 22 September 2011

Fuel Pointer



Ever been on a trip with a strictly limited supply of fuel? Your eyes keep casting worried looks on the fuel-tank pointer , and you turn your gaze hurriedly on both street sides once you pass by any settlement looking to grasp the non-existing opportunity of refueling your car.

It struck me, just now while I'm stuck in this petty situation that , outta all the things that we should be taking seriously,our concern for refueling our soul-tanks is the littlest . We tread our road of life , running very low on tranquility-fuel and hardly possessing any reserve of good deeds that will carry us on till the end. We tumble, trip ,get up, and continue through with a severed body.

Sad how we rarely pause and reflect on the somehow obvious cause of our exhaustion! Your car will keep jolting forwards and then dies once it's fuel-supply is zero.

Your weeping next to it won't make the engine roar back into life, your desperation and misery won't contribute any better to the crappiness of your predisposition. Realizing you're in some deep shit might be the trigger for you to search around for any fuel source/lift , once u find either you sigh in relief and get on with your trip.

Surely enough, the same applies for our life roads. Whenever we see that alarming lamp of fuel lightening up, we must RUSH to a fuel source (prayers), change the tires (get rid of those bad deeds and add on some good ones) and get a snack (body fuel) then get on with living a finite life.

Saturday 30 July 2011

A grownup child




Children is what we are

Dreams so pristine

Thoughts so divine…

Soul so serene

Love’s not just valentine!

Actions so obscene

Oh the world is just fine

To get to our dream

We cry, we whine

Pushing thirteen

We try to set our records fine

Now we’re fifteen

Friendship is our holy shrine

Close to nineteen

We get to align

Ourselves amongst the elders, seeking their sheen

Twenty is what my years now sign

Lies ahead is the unforeseen

Behind, the fully grasped plotline

And I set off in life…

With a grownup child swelling within me

And a childish grownup my wannabe.


Thursday 14 July 2011

They say I've grown up.

Why have I grown up?
This question struck me while on my way back home from my final exam in third year medical school.
Grown-ups suffer and bear it.
Grown-ups plan and they fail.
Grown-ups love and they swell in pain.
Did I really pass through this much?
No,I sure as hell didn't,or maybe I did! All what I'm facing at the mean time is an overwhelming sense of maturity...

I feel I'm changing...This year has brought out SO much that has long dwelled within me,the unbearable sum of studies,emotions,experiences have got me so close to seeing my real self,and to adoring my imperfections along with my perfections.

A full-blown adulthood demeanor is taking over me. I can see my self changing,physically, psychologically, sprititually...I'm adoring this change!
The one word that could depict my whole feelings is : VIVID!
I get to FEEL things better,to LIVE every single moment in a more graspable manner,to LOVE humans non-conditionally...it's just undescribable.

Never before have I got so close to human despair,never have I touched their pains,nor lived their misery.The nature of my career forces this onto us.It's appalling how different doctors react to seeing a patient's looks of despair.Some are compassionate,others are greedy,and most of them ,sadly though,are uncaring...
But why would they care? It aint their family member the one who's sick,it's not their bestfreind,neither their sweetheart..why give a damn?
I'll tell you why,it's merely because they're humans...Earthlings who happen to share your humanity,take a part of your community,and cringe in pain waiting for your majesty's magical drug to cure them.





It has been a tough year...and now its over,and I'm grateful.

Thursday 26 May 2011

لا تثق





بعفوية كنت احيا حياتي


بشغف كنت اتعرف على البشر ,اتقرب اليهم,اتودد اليهم
بعشق استمع لحكايا حياتهم , و بعطف اتفاعل مع مواقفهم
كنت احب كل من صادفته في طريقي...لانه يشاركني عفويتي...يشاطرني بشريتي
كنت احيا بمرح,بحب ,بطلاقة و ببشاشة اتلقى كل من يأتي في طريقي


لكن لُدغت مرة...بل مرتين..لا بل ثلاث
فقدت القدرة على التعداد
خارت قواي للمحبة
طعنني من هم لقلبي حياة
طعنوني
تخلو عني
لا بل خذلوني
فرجعت ألملم رفات روحي
أجمع بقايا حياتي
و امسح الحزن عن دموعي
أتقلب بين حنين و رثاء

رثاء للروح التي صدقتكن
و احبتكن
كجسدي الثان
جسد؟
من جسدي اتعلم ما لم يعلمنيه معلم
جسدي هذا كلما التهبت منه قطعة
التف الجسد حولها يضمدها
فأذا ابت
التف حولها لييبسها
فتتيبس
لتُعزل عن باقى الجسد
هذا قلبي
التهب مرارا
فلتتيبس يا قلبي
فهذا زمان هلاك المُصٌدِق
تيبس بفرح يا قلبي
فلو لم تجد في التيبس فرحأ
لمِت من التيبس ألما
تيبس فلا تصدق كائناَ من كان
تيبس لتموت ببطأ
فان البدن ان تيبس وجد العزلة و الراحة
اما القلب ففي تيبسه ألم...حزن..ووفاة.

Tuesday 17 May 2011

يأس الطريق






سألـتُ الطريـق : لـمـاذا تعـبـت ؟فـقـال بـحــزن : مـــن السـائـريـن
أنين الحيارى ..ضجيـج السكـارىزحــام الـدمـوع عـلـى الراحـلـيـن
وبــيــن الـحـنـايـا بـقــايــا أمـــــانوأشـــلاءُ حــــب وعــمــرٌ حــزيــن
وفــوق المضـاجـع عـطـر الغـوانـيولـيــلٌ يـعـربـد فــــي الجـائـعـيـن
وطـفــلٌ تـغــرب بــيــن الـلـيـالـيوضـــاع غـريـبــاً مــــع الضـائـعـيـن
وشـيــخٌ جــفــاهُ زمــــانٌ عـقـيــمتـهــاوت عـلــي رمـــال السـنـيـن
ولـــيــــلٌ تــمــزقــنــا راحــــتــــاهُكـأنــا خلـقـنـا لــكــي نسـتـكـيـن
وزهــــرٌ تــرنــح فــــوق الــروابــيومــات حزيـنـاً عـلـى العاشـقـيـن
فـمـن ذا سيـرحـمُ دمــع الطـريـقوقــد صــار وحــلاً مــن السائـريـن
همستُ إلى الدرب : صبراً جميلاًفـقـال : يئـسـتُ مــن الصابـريـن !

Tuesday 10 May 2011

ويضيع الدرب منا


ويضيع الدرب منا
::::::::::::::::::


يا رفيقَ الدَّرب
تاه الدَّرْبُ منّا .. في الضباب
يا رفيقَ العمر
ضاعَ العمرُ .. وانتحرَ الشباب
آهِ من أيّامنا الحيرى
توارتْ .. في التراب
آهِ من آمالِنا الحمقى
تلاشتْ كالسراب
يا رفيقَ الدَّرْب
ما أقسى الليالي
عذّبتنا ..
حَطَّمَتْ فينا الأماني
مَزَّقَتْنا
ويحَ أقداري
لماذا .. جَمَّعَتنا
في مولدِ الأشواق
ليتها في مولدِ الأشواقِ كانتْ فَرّقَتْنا
لا تسلني يا رفيقي
كيف تاهَ الدربُ .. مِنَّا
نحن في الدنيا حيارى
إنْ رضينا .. أم أَبَيْنَا
حبّنا نحياه يوماً
وغداً .. لا ندرِ أينَ !!
لا تلمني إن جعلتُ العمرَ
أوتاراً .. تُغنّي
أو أتيتُ الروضَ
منطلقَ التمنّي
فأنا بالشعرِ أحيا كالغديرِ المطمئنِّ
إنما الشعرُ حياتي ووجودي .. والتمنّي
هل ترى في العمر شيئاً
غير أيامٍ قليلة
تتوارى في الليالي
مثل أزهارِ الخميلة
لا تكنْ كالزهرِ
في الطُّرُقَاتِ .. يُلقيه البشر
مثلما تُلقي الليالي
عُمْرَنا .. بين الحُفَر
فكلانا يا رفيقي



من هوايات القَدَر
يا رفيقَ الدَّرْب
تاهَ الدربُ مني
رغمَ جُرحي
رغمَ جُرحي ..
سأغنّي
~
فاروق جويدة

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Oh God

Fragile..weak
Gosh I feel horrible,ya Rab alleviate me from such a feeling...
I don't doubt your mercy...but I doubt my innerself.
So close to the end,yet so far.
Get a grip.

Sunday 1 May 2011

Obscured.


Sometimes the sound of one’s sins rises...
It obscures ,rather than silences, a vibrant sound.The vibrancy of the latter is derived from one singular fact: It comes from very high..high above the seven skies where tranquility originates and where serenity resides...

God's All Merciful though...If one's soul becomes too preoccupied by sins and too malformed by useless acts,He turns to one other way,the beauty of which is quite close to one's being,it's light is easily sensed by the cornea,and its sound by the inner ear hair cells...

That way is embodied through a human's voice,sent down upon me from the Sacred.
This is exactly how I view you.You're a balm to my soul.You're the savior ,sent to me when I became defenseless..when my sins overflew,when my ears turned deaf to His orders,becoming oblivious to the song of tranquility...

Your name literally means piety,and it has LITERALLY fueled my soul piety-battery...I was running real low on fuel,with sins and uncaring burning through my battery's walls...thank you,Piety!
I promise I'll cherish you till the end of this world.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

صوت السكون






كم اعشق صوت السكون
ذلك الصمت الذي يسكن النفس الأبية
فيشد على عضديها
و يقوي ما بقي لديها
من عزة و كرامة و روح عَليا








ان صمتي اقوى من دوي الحروب
و هو لغتي التي تعبر عن ما قد اكون
او لا اكون
في صمتي حياة غير تلك الحياة
حياة يرفرف فيها الاسى
وينعي فيها الصبي الصبية


في صمتي حجتي و به يلمع نور مقلتيا
صمتي حيائي
و هو دوائي
صمتي دليلي
و رثائي...


اصمت لأستمع الى غناء الأكوان
و الى بكاء القلوب
و انين الدروب


اصمت لأحيا مترفعتا
عن كل ما قد يشوب الجبين
و يطرح في النفس خذي الدنيا الدَنيا


اصمت لأٌحييا صوت البكاء
و استمع الى ما قد يطيبٌ نفسا
قد اضناها بعد الطريق
و خذل الصديق
و تشبط الاعداء وقت الضيق


اصمت لأبكي
لعل دموعي اذا ما ذرفتها
تعيد اليا حياة القلوب
تقصر الطريق 
اذا ما اصر ان يطول
تعيد الصديق الحبيب
من ذاك المقر المجهول
تكف العدو اذا ما اذاه
اضحى يصول و يجول


فأنا امرأة اذا صمت
تكلمت الجبال
و تحادثت الفتيات عن جمال الأحزان
و تسابق الفتيان الى نيل المحال



انا امرأة لا اخاف الوعيد
و لا اقبل الذل
و لا غدر الصديق


انا امرأة ادعو لربي
ان ينير الطريق
و يقوي السواعد
اذا ما استغني الصديق
و استطال الطريق
و التف الكلاب
حول الغنم المريض


انا امرأة خٌلقت ابية
و سأحيا غنية
و بعزتي ربي
لن ارضى الدَنيا.

Sunday 10 April 2011

Caritas.


Third year's first semester proved to be such a tough semester that taught me how to value patience and to have an unshakable faith in Allah (Subhanah Wa Ta’alaa),for without these two traits one’s plans are deemed to a definite failure.

Despite the grotty quality of Kasr Al Aini labs and the inevitability of being told off by any professor for the mere reason of asking a question that’s considered by their means ‘off-topic’ ,I’ve grown to adore the nature of our field and to ponder, continuously, on the endless incidents that make my life as a medical student meaningful.

Change being the only constant is what my friends and I have grasped after spending some three years over here, yearning for the day on which we can finally get to help a suffering soul. One day we’re rolling around in happiness, only to be crying in silence the very next day.

Perhaps things as subtle as the cleaning lady’s patter as she sweeps the library floor, can make my day. It’s not merely because of that physical act of cleanliness bringing about an upbeat to the surroundings ( for cleanliness in Kasr Al Aini is INDEED something ungraspable :D); it’s mainly because of the remembrance of endless bounties that Allah has showered our lives with that her act brings along. Such a remembrance is never so well circumscribed than when seeing misery in those tired eyes, sweeping away piles of dust along with pain ,hunger and a lot more…bashfulness is what stops them from asking for help, yet only God knows how much happiness is added to their lives once you drop a pound or two on the closest counter…
 
Down through the days things start to look up. Parents trust  me with many things that make me feel like a real grown up. Driving to college is a product of these acts of trustworthiness,I like it .Yet it burdens me with all that is to come with adulthood, starting off with a change in lingo,passing through an endless list of ‘how to make best use out of time’ and ending at some unavoidable stuff about respecting everyone’s opinion and NEVER belittling a human’s mind,for  all minds have their own prefrontal cortex that gives them a capacity for intentionality, in other words every one is capable of doing almost everything you do, had they got the chances for it...